Getting Started

Thinking about planning a far-flung celebration? Here's what you need to know first.

Looking for a small or completely private wedding? A destination wedding is the perfect solution. Want to invite the whole gang? Your answer might be an extended wedding, honeymoon, and reunion at an activity-rich, all-inclusive resort or aboard a cruise. Destination celebrations are economical (for the couple anyway!) and offer a world of options. Here are nine steps to make planning yours an official breeze.

1. First Things First
Choose a location based on your wedding style and nonnegotiable guest list (if any). Unlike a hometown affair, you can't assume everyone will be able to pony up the cash and vacation days to attend, so you'll need to wait to get a read on how many people can come before you choose a venue. You'll want to compare event facilities and, if you're wedding at a hotel, room amenities, activity options, and potential group discounts.

2. Think Thrifty
If friends and family are invited along for the ride, go easy on their bank accounts: Consider an all-ages, all-inclusive resort or cruise during low season to keep costs down and provide a bevy of built-in activity options. Guests should pay all their own expenses with the exception of the wedding party: Tradition says that the bride or her family should cover lodging for the bridesmaids; the groom or his family should do the same for the groomsmen. Otherwise, they pick up their own tab. It helps if you insist they not buy you gifts, and ask your travel agent or wedding coordinator about group discounts on air and hotels.

3. Start Early
Start researching and planning your wedding away as soon as possible. As you will have to reserve your venue well in advance to give your family and friends enough notice and to secure your venue.

4. Ask the Right Questions
Two maxims to keep in mind here: No question is stupid and you'll never know until -- and unless! -- you ask. Achieving your dream wedding means having all the information you need to make the perfect choices.

5. Guide Your Guests
If you've chosen a far-flung locale, make sure each guest has a passport or provide them with information on how to get one. Be sure to place a gift basket in each room that is full of essentials for the trip (suntan lotion, bug spray, etc.) and goodies that will remind them of the setting -- calypso tapes, cookbooks or samples of native food, or crafts from local artisans, for example.

8. Arrive Early
Plan to fly in a few days before the main event to assure that the paperwork is processed and to nail down any final details. In faraway locales, this will help you shake residual jet lag, too.

9. Get It in Writing
One last tip: Make sure you confirm all agreements in writing before you let a single rand leave your wallet!

2. Destination Wedding Basics: 12 Must-Read Tips

Schedule a Test Drive
Remember, unlike a wedding in your hometown, guests are dependent on you once they reach the destination. Make sure you provide transportation to and from the airport, as well as to all the events of the weekend. Insist that bus drivers do a dry run of the route so they don't get lost between the ceremony and reception.

Take a Trip
Pan to visit the destination after you've finalized your guest count. As you'll need to schedule "tastings" with your caterer, see sample bouquets from the florist, plan a hair/makeup session with a salon, and organize activities (golf, tennis, walking tours, museums) for everyone.

Vendor Checkups
If you must hire your vendor's sight unseen, ask for a portfolio of pictures and at least three references. Be sure the references are people for whom the vendor did an event similar to yours. For example, a recommendation from a couple who had 10 guests doesn't help if you're inviting 100. Also ask for the names of other vendors who worked those events and use them as further references regarding the company in question.

Be Gracious
A good way to make nice with the local vendors is to send handwritten thank-you notes and even little gifts when you book their services. (Remember that they can literally make or break your wedding, and a little goes a long way toward getting them on your side.)

B.Y.O.P.
Or bring your own pros. Don't hesitate to fly in talent you trust from home for critical aspects such as photography, hair/makeup, and decor design (lighting, flowers). They usually work with local vendors in a supervisory capacity and the locals often benefit because they learn tricks from the city-slicker pros.

Forewarn Your Friends
Tell your bridal party about the destination before you ask them to stand by your side so that they can gracefully decline if finances are tight.

Get a Grip
Don't be upset if some of your closest friends or relatives don't attend. While you are, in a sense, footing some of the food bills, their fees for travel, hotel, and car rental can really add up, especially for a family. And while your wedding is, in a sense, a mini-vacation for you, it may not be the one they want to take!

Mind Mother Nature
Don't forget to consider the climate when choosing your dress. You'll be swimming in sweat if you pair your fairy-tale satin ball gown with tropical humidity. Whether your dream location is specifically a beach or simply outdoors, dress for no stress.

Be a Zen Bride
Don't keep a constant eye on the time. Things happen when they happen -- keep an open mind. Minor mishaps can sometimes make for the best memories.

Pack Right
Whatever you buy to bring with you, you have to lug along. Don't forget to allow ample room for The Dress.

Call On a Courier
Don't forget to plan for potential wedding presents. If you've got a ton of wedding gifts to take home, ask if someone who lives in your city can take them back and keep them for you until after the honeymoon -- or even drop them at your home for you. Or, pack an extra duffle bag to bring them home yourselves. Figure this out before the wedding so you'll have a plan of action if you need it.

Welcome Your Guests
Be sure to place a gift basket in each room that is full of essentials for the trip (suntan lotion, bug spray, etc.) and goodies that will remind them of the setting -- calypso tapes, cookbooks or samples of native food, or crafts from local artisans, for example.

3. Q&A: Destination Weddings: Do We Pay for Our Guests?
Q. What's the etiquette? Are we obligated to pay for our guests or subsidize any portion of their trip?
A. If you are able to pay any portion of your guests' way, it is a nice gesture and they will certainly appreciate it. Couples usually go this route when there aren't many affordable lodging options near their site. In general, though, it is not required that you cover any of your guests' expenses. But aim for harmony regardless and choose a location that offers accommodation options in all price points. You know your guests best, so keep in mind what you think they'll be willing and able to spend when you select your location.