Registries are an amazing invention -- they leave practically no room for buyer's remorse. To help you start, we've put together a list of some goodies on a typical wedding gift registry.

FINE CHINA AND CASUAL DINNERWARE CHECKLIST

• Formal china place setting (12): Dinner plate, salad/dessert plate, bread and butter plate, teacup and saucer
• Rimmed soup bowl (doubles as pasta bowl) (12)
• Charger (12)
• Coffeepot
• Teapot
• Gravy boat and stand
• Casual place setting (12): Dinner plate, salad/dessert plate, soup/cereal bowl, mug
• Salt and pepper shakers
• Serving platter (2)
• Sugar bowl and creamer
• Serving bowl (2-3)
• Salad bowl
• Serving tray (2)
• Soup tureen
• Butter dish
• Cake plate
• Espresso cup and saucer (8)
• Accent plate (12)

FLATWARE CHECKLIST

• 5-piece setting (13): Formal and causal each contain dinner fork, salad fork, tablespoon, teaspoon, knife.
• Butter knife (12)
• Salad servers
• Serving spoon (2)
• Slotted serving spoon
• Serving fork (2)
• Ladle
• Demitasse spoon (6)

GLASSWARE AND BARWARE CHECKLIST

• Wineglass (14)
• Water goblet (14)
• Champagne flutes (12)
• Double old-fashioned glasses (12)
• Iced beverage (12)
• Margarita (6)
• Martini (6)
• Dessert wine (6)
• Shot glass (6)
• Highball (12)
• Juice glass (6)
• Beer mug or pilsner (6)
• Casual drinking glass (12)
• Cocktail shaker
• Ice bucket and tongs
• Jigger and bar tools

KITCHENWARE CHECKLIST

• Blender
• Coffeemaker
• Coffee grinder
• Tea kettle
• Food processor
• Hand mixer
• Slow cooker
• Toaster
• 4- or 5-inch skillet
• 10- or 12-inch skillet
• 2- or 3-quart saucepan with lid
• Stock pot with pasta insert
• Dutch oven (4- to 6-quarts)
• Roasting pan
• Steamer insert
• Colander
• Casserole dish
• Baking sheets, cake pans, and muffin tins (2 each)
• Nesting bowls
• Measuring cups/spoons
• Set of steak knives
• Chef's knife
• Bread knife
• Paring knife
• Utility knife
• Sharpening tool
• Pair of kitchen shears

BED AND BATH CHECKLIST

• Sheet set (4)
• Duvet or down comforter
• Bedcover
• Bed skirt
• Mattress pad (2)
• Blanket (2)
• Pillow (6)
• Decorative pillow (2-3)
• Bath towel (6)
• Bath sheet (6)
• Hand towel (6)
• Washcloth (4)
• Guest towel (4)
• Bath mat
• Shower curtain
• Scale
• Electric toothbrush (2)
• Hamper

2. Gifts - asking for money

Gifts: Asking for Money

Everyone loves the gift of money, but how do you get it? Read on for the history, etiquette, and how-to of getting wedding gifts of cold, hard cash.

Give guests a choice -- some may really want to give you something material, rather than just writing you a check.

Engaged couples are always talking about it -- cash gifts. The little-known secret? Many definitely prefer money for their marriage over traditional registry items like china, silver and crystal. Everyone loves the gift of money, but how do you get it? Read on for the history, etiquette, and how-to of getting wedding gifts of cold, hard cash.

The Reasons

Maybe you're getting married for the first time and would rather have a lump sum to put toward your first home, or you're remarrying and have long since set up house. The truth is that quite a few of us have already accrued all kinds of appliances and amenities to outfit our lives. But there are very few who couldn't use a helping hand toward buying a home or new car. That's when money may be the most useful, thoughtful, and appreciated gift of all.

The History

Time was when the mavens of manners turned up their noses at the thought of giving money as a gift. But today, there are plenty of people who can't think of a more appropriate present for two people just starting out in their new, shared life. In fact, monetary gifts have long been considered proper and acceptable in different regions of the country, as well as among different cultures. Guests invited to a Korean wedding often present envelopes containing cash or checks to the parents of the bride and groom, who in turn present the money to the newlywed couple. Guests at a Chinese wedding often hand the bride monetary presents in red envelopes (red symbolizes luck). There's an Italian custom called "The Grand March" -- the wedding reception ends with a receiving line in which the couple gives each guest a sweet in exchange for an envelope of money. During the traditional Polish "Dollar Dance," guests dance with the bride and give her money as a gift by pinning money to her veil or dress.

How to Spread the Word

If you decide to set up such an account, or simply want your guests to know that you'd prefer checks -- let your parents, close relatives and friends, and wedding-party members know that when guests ask, they can tell them that. But don't completely forego some sort of traditional registry. Give guests a choice -- some may really want to give you something material, rather than just writing you a check.

Quick Tips

If anyone asks, checks before the wedding should be made out to the bride OR groom (i.e., they should use the bride's maiden name, even if she's planning to change it). After the wedding, checks should be made out to bride AND groom. This just makes cashing 'em easier, and it's also the traditional way it's done. As far as checks brought to the reception -- put someone in charge of collecting them. The best man is a good choice. You might want to make him and the maid of honour responsible for keeping the checks for you while you're on your honeymoon.

It's the Thought That Counts

The one potentially awkward thing about a cash gift is that there's no hiding how big or small that present is. But the thought behind each one remains the same -- and your thanks shouldn't vary in size, either.

4. Thank-You Notes: A Complete Guide

Thank-you notes are a must-do, but we all know that doesn't mean you love them. Take the advice of someone who's been there...

Think wedding duties end with "I do"? No such luck. The idea of returning from your honeymoon and, like kids on Christmas, ripping through all your wedding gifts sounds grand. But beware: your post-present high might be killed when you realize that you have one final chore: thank-you notes. The task of writing a personal note to 180 guests is definitely daunting, but it's not impossible. Here's a survival guide:

PREPARATION: What You Need to Know

Keep in mind that the thank-you note project begins way back when you gather your guests' names and addresses to send the invitations. Do yourself a big favour: Keep the details on your guest list on Stress Free Weddings up to date. Before you start opening gift boxes, go to that list and record each gift next to the giver's name and address.

GETTING STARTED: How to Do a Thank-You

• Set up a designated writing area at home. Make sure it's a comfortable place, not too far from the kitchen or bathroom, with a TV or radio nearby.
• Buy yourself some great stationery. After the wedding, act like a married person and get the good stuff. Go for the heavy-duty note cards in ecru. Even better: Have them monogrammed with your new initials. That's right, flaunt your married status! You could also send them an e-card thanking them for your gift.
• Equip yourself with pens that you like to write with. Stay away from the cheap supermarket variety that make big ink blobs when they're overused. Go for a more grown-up writing instrument -- roller-ball pens are much smoother. Mont Blanc makes some impressive models, if you've got the cash. Go ahead and have it monogrammed, as long as you're in we're-married-now mode.

WRITING THEM: Tips & Tricks

You had to write one to your grandmother for that knitted scarf she made you when you were six years old -- and when you were 7, 8, 9.... But after the dust from the reception settles, you need to seriously get crackin' on all those wedding thank-you notes -- one for every dish, every vase, every new scarf you received.

If the gift you received was money, be sure to mention in the thank-you card how you plan to use it.

• Try to start writing thank-yous as soon as gifts start arriving. This may mean before the wedding, so be prepared.
• Don't attempt to get them all done in one sitting; trust us -- it simply won't happen.
• The rule is that you're supposed to get thank-yous out for gifts received before the wedding within two weeks after they arrive; after the wedding, within a month after you return from the honeymoon. Well, it's a nice thing to aspire to, but I say if you get 'em all done before (okay, around) your one-month anniversary, you'll be happy and so will your guests.
• Traditionally, wedding thank-you notes are written in blue or black ink on folded ivory or white notepaper. If you choose, you can have your married name or monogram embossed on the note (but you shouldn't use notes with your married name on them until after the wedding; if you must monogram, get some notes with your maiden name or initials and some with your married name or initials).
• Be sure to write a few words about the gift so you don't get confused. You'll never remember which of the 10 crystal vases your Aunt Alma gave you, so be specific: "Waterford Balmoral vase."
• If the gift was money, mention how you plan to use it: "Thank you for the generous check. We are using it as part of the down payment on a house."
• Put a big check mark next to the guest's name when the thank-you note has been signed, sealed, and delivered -- this is the part you'll enjoy most.

EXPERT EXAMPLES: Take Note

• sample thank-you note for a cash gift: Dear Aunt Sue and Uncle Tom, Thank you so much for your generous gift. Lila and I are saving for a new home and thanks to you, we'll be shopping for our dream house very soon. Again, many thanks for thinking of us and for sharing our special day. Love, Derek and Lila
• Sample thank-you note for a gift chosen from your bridal registry: Dear Elizabeth and Albert, Thank you so much for the crystal wine goblets. We now have a complete set! Derek and I are looking forward to your next visit, when we can enjoy a drink together. Thank you again for thinking of us at this special time in our lives. Warmest regards, Lila and Derek
• Sample thank-you note for a gift you really didn't like: Dear Winona and Leif, Thank you for the fluorescent lava lamps. You are both so thoughtful! Every time we look at them, we will think of you and this special time in our lives. Again, many thanks for sharing our joy. Fondly, Lila and Derek

4. 10 tips on registering for gifts

Gift giving is a way for guests to celebrate your marriage and to help you stock your new home. Now's the time to create your ideal registry! Here's what to keep in mind when making your wish list.

What are you waiting for? Registering should be one of the first tasks you tackle when you get engaged. Friends and relatives will be looking to buy gifts for all those pre-wedding and engagement bashes. Take the guesswork out of gift buying by making sure they know what you want. You don't need to complete your list just yet, but at least have a selection for guests to browse.

Hitting the stores together is essential. After all, the gifts are for both of you. To decide what you need, take inventory of the things you already have and see where the gaps are. Talk about the style of home you'd both like, and split up the final say (you could alternate items) to make it fair. (Maybe he gets to make final decisions on electronics, while you get to choose the kitchen stuff since you're the chef.)

Don't feel like you just need to register for china and flatware. Many stores have wedding registries now, so feel free to include whatever it is that will make your new house a home, be it electronics, appliances, or even camping equipment.

Like all things wedding, there's a right way and a wrong way to let your guests know where you're registered.

…include your registry information on every piece of correspondence with guests. We like the idea of including announcement cards in shower invites or even with save the dates.

…forget to tell everyone (mom, dad, grandparents, bridal party) where you're registered so that when guests ask, they'll be able to direct them.

…let people find out via word of mouth. And if someone asks you directly, you can certainly let him or her know too.

…include registry info on your website. This is the only place where you can include it in print. Having it on your website (as a link) makes it easy for guests to just click and buy you something.

Try to avoid filling your list with things you're never going to use. If you two aren't the formal party types, then you probably won't need a crystal punch bowl, as compelling as it may seem when you walk by with that registry wand. Also, be extra sure before you register for anything monogrammed. Once your name is on it, you probably won't be able to return it.

It's always a good idea to inquire about a store's exchange/return policies. For example you might suddenly realize that you don't really have room for 24 chargers and want to return. say, 8 of them.

As much as you may be hankering for that gorgeous silver place setting, be sure to register for items in a wide range of price points: so all of your guests can choose gifts they can afford. You don't want your artsy college friend feeling overwhelmed by the fact that he can't find a single gift; and on the opposite side, you don't want your parents' closest friends to have to buy you a multitude of smaller items to give you a generous gift.

At least one (and preferably all) of your registries should be available online. Guests should also be able to place their orders in person, over the phone, or by fax. If you've registered at a boutique retailer that doesn't offer online services, you should be okay, as long as that's not the only place you've registered. We live in a hectic world and you want to let guests be able to order you a gift -- even if it's 2 a.m.! POSSIBLY REMOVE

THINK GIFT CERTIFICATES

Sure some couples love receiving cash but asking for it is not exactly Future Mr. and Mrs. Manners-approved. A more etiquette-friendly option? Try gift cards. Many stores allow you to register for them and you can use them to buy the things you want and need...later. If you are anxious for cash gifts, ask one or two close friends and immediate family to politely spread the word.

Be gracious -- let your guests know their gifts have arrived -- promptly. Thank-you notes for gifts received before the wedding should be sent within two weeks of their arrival. Notes for gifts received on or after the wedding day should be sent within a month of your return from the honeymoon. In all notes, be sure to mention the gift by name.