Kiss the old cutting-the-cake moment and garter toss good-bye? No, not exactly, but you can add some new traditions to the mix. When it comes to hosting a wedding reception today, the trend is to throw a sophisticated party that reflects the couple -- and allows guests to feel pampered. How are couples doing it? By adding one or more highly personalized, highly spirited extras.

1. Amazing Arrivals

Beyond limos, some couples are transporting guests in old-fashioned trolleys or even having everyone arrive on foot European-style (if feasible) with the bride and groom leading the way to the celebratory soiree.

2. Heartfelt Displays

A special toast from the groom to the bride is also a hot trend, and one bride we know said it was her favourite part of the entire wedding! Alternatively, toasts from the bride and groom together to their guests are a tasteful way for the newlyweds to thank friends and family verbally. This is especially true as more couples host and pay for their own nuptials.

3. Special Performances

For brides and grooms who are talented vocalists, getting up on stage and crooning a sentimental tune adds a wonderful, personal note to the day's festivities.

4. Artists On Hand

Some couples are hiring artists to create caricatures, sketches, or trendy black hand-cut silhouettes of guests during the cocktail hour and throughout the reception. While the dancing is in full swing, guests can take a break and pose -- then have something unique to take home with them.

5. Novelty Acts

Fortune-tellers or palm readers have become popular additions to the event. They can predict wonderful developments for curious (and single!) partygoers ("You will meet your future husband at this wedding…") -- or for Aunt Jane, who's wondering if she should buy that lottery ticket.

6. Musical Additions

Couples are infusing their shindigs with special music beyond the main band or DJ. During the cocktail hour everything from a pianist or jazz trio to a steel drum band -- even a well-crafted compilation CD -- will kick the party off on a high note.

7. Photo Finish

Capture the spirit of the evening by renting a photo booth. Friends and family can really ham it up and create great keepsakes. Another idea is to set up a photo area by creating a backdrop so that guests can stop by and have playful portraits snapped by a photographer.

8. Illuminating Idea

When hosting an evening affair, lighting goes a long way to set the mood. Many caterers and event planners hire lighting designers to highlight different areas of the room, or to provide special effects like an overall tint (amber is popular) or appropriate shapes (your new monogram, perhaps?) spotlighted onto the dance floor. A more low-tech approach is to hang beautiful Chinese paper lanterns or line a walkway with luminarias -- paper bags weighted with sand and filled with votives.

9. Table Toppers

Table numbers are easy to do and bona fide crowd pleasers. Give your reception tables clever monikers. Flower types can be fun, say, if you're getting married in a garden. Movie fans name tables after Hollywood classics. After guests pick up their escort cards and sit down with their tablemates at their special outposts, the table name becomes an instant icebreaker.

10. Dance Fever

Rather than get out on the dance floor and go through the motions, many brides and grooms take professional dance lessons to get ready for their big night. However, we are now seeing couples go several steps further (literally) by mastering intricate, choreographed moves from tango to disco that they can show off at the reception for their first dance together.

11. Lounge Acts

Creating a swanky lounge area of sofas and chairs where guests can hang out at the end of the reception is a trend that's been gaining popularity since the cigar bar craze. A new take on the lounge idea is adding a self-serve dessert wine and artisanal cheese station -- an oh-so-chic way to wind down the evening. Handmade chocolates can (and should, yum) be offered.

12. Super Send-Offs

As guests leave the reception, many thoughtful hosts are sending them off with a breakfast bag -- a new take on the old favour idea. Filled with croissants and cream cheese or Orange Juice and scones, the bags are tagged with a cute note thanking guests for attending the wedding and left on a table by the door.

13. Close Calls

Brides and grooms who want to keep the party going into the wee hours are now capping off the reception with a lively parting song and then leading guests (who wish to continue the merrymaking) to the after-party venue.

14. Transit Issues

Providing guests with transportation back to their hotel or home is a thoughtful way to show that you want them to whoop it up, yet not get behind the wheel if they've had too much to drink. Have a bus or van driver on hand to shuttle guests over the course of the evening, or rent several flashy cars (convertibles are fun if weather permits) with drivers to take a few guests at a time to their destination. Display a placard explaining the service (near the restrooms is a good spot) so everyone knows that it's okay to leave their cars in the lot overnight.

15. Clean Getaway

Some couples are ending the party by inviting guests to watch them take off in an attention-getting vehicle-from a vintage convertible to a helicopter (go for a private spin before landing at the after-party!).

2. Reception secrets - Head off unexpected problems

You've been one dutiful duo preparing for every possible wedding-day catastrophe, from red wine hitting white silk to the nightmare of the no-show vendor. Think you've got every last detail crossed off your list? Maybe not! There are some difficult to anticipate problems out there -- but you don't have to worry, because we're giving you the heads up.

Wild Child

The Problem: Your child attendants and young cousins: so angelic during the ceremony, so C-R-A-Z-Y after overindulging in your sugary wedding cake. Kids will be kids -- but that doesn't mean they must be screaming, crying, and racing around a formal reception.

The Solution: You can put them in tiny gowns and tuxedos, but you definitely can't force them to uphold a formal atmosphere. If you're inviting kids to your celebration, you have to understand they might not make it through without getting rambunctious. That said, there are some great ways to keep them from knocking things over and making a mess.

Tykes that are part of the party should get their own table -- sans centrepiece. Instead, cover the table with butcher paper and leave a box of crayons at each place setting. Rather than a five-star meal, serve a kid-friendly favourite, which they'll like better. If you're worried they'll go wild, set up the young ones with sitters, either on- or off-site. Get the crew an extra hotel room and show a double feature of The Lion King and Shrek, or hire a clown or magician to come in and entertain them. With the kids out of your hair, you (and the many appreciative parents among your guests) can keep things adult.

Damp Dress Distress

The Problem: It's the morning of and it's raining. The ceremony and reception are being held inside -- but first, the bride has to get there in her voluminous princess-style gown. You could throw a tarp over her or roll her up in a carpet, but we've got a more stylish option.

The Solution: No couple wishes for rain on their wedding day, though we hear it is considered good luck. If you're worried you're going to get lucky (even if it's not in the forecast), consider packing a golf umbrella. Why? It's the only cover large enough to get the bride from the limo to the church to the reception to the hotel without letting raindrops mar her gown. And besides, some of our all-time favourite wedding photos are of newlyweds smooching beneath an umbrella big enough for two.

Think & Drink

The Problem: You know it's a successful party when you start running really low on supplies -- especially liquor. Everyone's had a good time, but everyone might not be fit to drive. What do you do about that?

The Solution: You already know that lots of responsible brides and grooms book buses or shuttles to ferry guests back and forth from reception to hotel. What you might not know is that you may need more runs than you think. While no one's going to say they require a ride prewedding, after a few too many cocktails they might. A couple more bus runs will ensure you've got a seat for everyone to get home safely.

Not-So-Fresh Picked

The Problem: The main course hasn't even been served, and your flowers are already starting to wilt. It happens to the best of flowers -- a lot more often than you think.

The Solution: Brown might be a hot wedding colour right now, but not for flowers. When you're shopping around, stick to hardy blooms that don't bruise easily and can go the distance (especially if you're marrying in a particularly hot or humid place). Sunflowers, gerbera daisies, dahlias, lilies, and hydrangeas are all reasonably safe bets -- their woody stems and slightly tough petals will last longer than other varieties and hide their age. Avoid super-soft flowers like gardenias, lilies of the valley, and tulips, which are more likely to wilt in the spotlight.

If you simply must have these blooms, take preventative action. Your florist should take care of properly cutting and feeding the flowers, but you can help prolong their lives by keeping them away from radiators and other sources of heat -- including windows with southern exposure. Also, if you're providing the vases or containers for your centrepieces, be sure that they've been washed with an antibacterial soap so that nothing in your vessels is promoting decay.

The Paper Chase

The Problem: When you chose your vendors, you dotted your i's, crossed your t's, and got it all in writing -- except for all those little details you worked out over the phone as you changed your mind and renegotiated. A savvy move -- at least until it's time to pay the bills and you're scrambling to remember exactly how much they said each different bit would cost. You don't want to spend more than you planned, but how do you deal with everything you didn't get on paper?

The Solution: Finish what you started. No matter how small, no matter how nit-picky, get it all in writing. If you don't want to deal with asking a vendor to amend the contract every time you make a verbal change, simply follow up your phone conversation with a quick email confirming what was just said. It doesn't have to be elaborate -- a simple note saying, for example, "Thanks for taking the time to chat with me earlier about the new menu ideas. I just wanted to confirm that the price of the beef filet for 150 would be X." Save copies of your messages and replies, compile them, and give the stack to a family member to bring to the reception (or summarize in one email and ask the vendor to okay it). That way, there will be no question or argument when the time comes to pay your vendors.

Guests Gone AWOL

The Problem: The ceremony's over, time for the cocktail hour. Delicious hors d'oeuvres, fabulous drinks...but where are the guests? Arriving in scattered clumps and clusters, still disoriented from the trek between ceremony and reception site -- oh no!

The Solution: Unless your ceremony and reception site are one and the same, you're going to have to deal with the logistics of getting guests around. This doesn't have to mean splurging for a bus -- as long as everyone has directions. Sure, you might have sent that adorable map with your save-the-dates, but how many guests brought it with them?

To avoid having to assemble a last-minute motorcade or having anyone muss up their keepsake map, include brief directions to your reception site at the very end of your wedding program. If you're not keen on that idea, print directions on small, separate sheets. When the ceremony concludes, the same helpful folks who handed out your programs can head to the back once again to give guests the directions as they recess -- leaving you with zero guests lost or late.

Let There Be Light

The Problem: Little can beat a reception site with amazing sunset views -- unless guests are blinded by it. Same goes for candlelight receptions overwhelmed by natural light. Who knew what all those windows could do!

The Solution: Don't fall out of love with your reception site's great view -- simply arrange to see it at the time of day that your wedding will take place. If you know that there will be a lot of light (or just a little), you can plan your lighting accordingly. Remember that the season will affect light too. Worried it will be too bright? Rent sheer, colourful drapes or simply hang fabric so the sun can still shine in -- it'll just tone it down a bit. Will your sunny site be too dark come evening? Turn low lighting into mood lighting with strategically placed candles.

Gimme Shelter

The Problem: The great outdoors is a great spot for a wedding. The flora, the fauna...the skies opening up and pouring rain minutes before the start to the ceremony -- but naturally, now you're ready for that one with umbrellas. But what about other complications?

When it comes to hosting an outdoor wedding, having a plan B is just as important as having a plan A. And it doesn't just stop with renting a tent. Once you're covered, solving one problem may create another, such as guests coming in out of the rain and tracking mud with them.

The Solution: Unless the bride plans on holding her hemline aloft for hours, go with plan C: clean 'em up! When you're talking to your tent company or reserving your reception site, confirm with the vendors that they have mats that can be set up at entryways or around the perimeter so that guests can wipe their feet. That way, if the skies are threatening, you can just remind your wedding coordinator or deputize a family member to get things all laid out. It'll ensure your dance floor stays spotless.

Dancing in the Dark

The Problem: Is someone turning down the lights on your romantic, candlelit reception? No, wait, it's actually the candles that are burning out! Yikes!

The Solution: You don't want your wicks to wear out before you do, so when you're shopping for reception decor start by picking up one each of a few different candles. On a day when you'll be home for a while (we know you know, but never leave burning candles unattended), light them all at the same time -- on the hour works best, since it'll be easiest to remember -- and see how long they burn. You need not sit there and watch, just check periodically to see how far they've made it. Once you know your votives, tapers, or columns can cut it through drinks, dinner, dancing and, of course, your grand departure, you're safe to buy the quantity you'll actually need. And you'll be all set to light up the night.

3. Reception Timeline - a traditional guide to what happens when

So you want your reception to be the most talked about of the century -- but don't know the first thing about throwing a good party? The crucial thing to scoring a fabulous wedding celebration is knowing what's supposed to happen when. So we've strung together a timeline based on a traditional cocktail hour and a four-hour reception, to give you an hour-by-hour guide to the day's post ceremonial events. Get your stopwatches ready -- the reception countdown is about to begin. The crucial thing to scoring a fabulous wedding celebration is knowing what's supposed to happen when.

00:00 | THE COCKTAIL HOUR

After being pronounced husband and wife, the newlyweds often are the first to leave the ceremony, heading off (with photographer in tow) for pictures together before the partying gets under way. Your guests will head to the reception site for cocktails. Depending on the logistics of the event, your cocktail hour will begin immediately (if the ceremony and reception are held at the same venue), or it might start more than half an hour later (if there's travel involved). Cocktails will kick off your reception and will last for at least an hour. During this time stationary or passed appetizers and drinks will be served, which will get people mingling and in the mood. Don't forget: Greeting your guests is essential! It's customary for the couple, along with their parents and the bridal party, to form a receiving line outside the ceremony site to greet guests before the escape. Many couples these days are opting for this post-ceremony receiving line, rather than going from table to table during dinner. But if you haven't done so, you should form one now.

01:00 | NEWLYWEDS' ARRIVAL/FIRST DANCE

Here's the part where the bride and groom make their grand entrance. The coordinator usually will make sure guests are seated before the emcee alerts them to your imminent arrival. Generally, both sets of parents and the wedding party are introduced, followed by the announcement of the couple for the first time as husband and wife. In many cases, your newlywed first dance will begin as you step out onto the floor and into the spotlight after being announced. Alternately, you can wait until after the first course of the meal is served, but since everyone already is cheering you as you enter the reception, use the applause as encouragement enough to skim away any shyness and step on out.

01:20 | CHEERS & TOASTS

Following your first dance, you might want to take the opportunity -- while all eyes are still on you and most attentive, since hopefully no one yet has had too much to drink -- to thank everyone en masse for taking part in your wedding. A family member, often a parent of the bride, will say a blessing (depending on the families' faiths). Then, since toasting signifies a transition in the course of an event, the mother and father of the bride will thank guests for attending and invite everyone to enjoy the celebratory meal. Keep in mind that the toasts given by the best man and the maid of honour should occur between courses, to spread out all the high-emotion, much-anticipated moments and keep guests in their seats.

01:30 | MANGIA, MANGIA

Time to dig into the main course. If you're having a seated meal, the band will play subdued, conversation-friendly background music as the waitstaff makes the rounds. If you're having a buffet, your coordinator or bandleader will dictate how the rotation will work by calling each table when it's time to head to the front of the line. Just remember: The bride and groom need to do everything possible to take their seats and eat!

02:45 | PARTY TIME

Monkey-see, monkey-do is how this game is played. Guests are going to follow the lead of the bride and groom. Once dinner dishes are cleared, the newlyweds should be the first ones on the dance floor so people know it's time to start partying like it's 1999 -- er, 2006. Throughout the jammin', the music will stop for any extracurricular activities you've planned (also known as the bouquet toss, the garter toss, the centrepiece giveaways, and whatever else you've dreamed up). If you do choose to toss the bouquet, make sure to get a throwaway from the florist so you can keep your original bouquet as a memento.

04:00 | CAKE CUTTING

About one hour before the conclusion of the reception, when the party starts getting a little too rowdy and the bar starts getting a little too empty, your waitstaff should start preparing tables for coffee and dessert. Since the cutting of the cake generally signals to guests that it's okay to leave soon thereafter, be sure not to do this too early or things could start wrapping up before you're ready.

04:15 | SHAKE A LEG

Once the cake is cut, the band should start right back into swing and rock music for those wanting to trade in their slices for another turn on the dance floor.

04:45 | LAST DANCE

End your wedding on a high note and choose a dance song that will leave a lasting impression. You'll want everyone to have a chance for one last twirl, so select something fast and festive.

05:00 | FINAL FAREWELL

Now the time has come to say good-bye. Your coordinator will usher everyone into the foyer or onto the steps outdoors so that as you make your grand exit from the reception, friends and family can blow bubbles, light sparklers, or toss rose petals -- and cheer to your successful celebration and future together.

4. Reception - 15 Unique reception ideas

Looking to have a wedding like none other -- at least like none other you've ever attended? Don't be afraid to try something new and something that's intrinsically you. The first step is to define who you are as a couple. Investigate your likes and dislikes. Ask yourselves: What do we enjoy doing in our spare time? Which is our favourite season? Favourite artists, movies, and music? Favourite era? Once you've unveiled your personal style, you're ready to take the second step and start developing a wedding-day theme.

Your theme doesn't have to be something so complex as a Hawaiian luau, replete with a roast pig, leis, and grass skirts, but it should pinpoint an element that can be used as a thread throughout your wedding day -- a colour, a flower, or even a vintage brooch. You may be inspired by pink roses, a pearl-studded purse, or snowflakes (because the two of you met on the ski slopes). Or you may love sunsets so much that you host your ceremony at sundown, have wedding programs designed in shades of the sunset (from burnt orange to pale pink) and choose amber-colour pin-lighting in your reception venue. Need more ideas? Here are 15 ways to craft a one-of-a-kind celebration.

1. Find the right spot.

Locating the right spot to host your fun, formal affair is your greatest challenge. Having the wedding in a hotel ballroom will lend a very different tone than having it in an old weathered barn on your grandfather's farm. Locate a distinctive venue. Or transform the space you choose into something different by setting up screens to create different environments for dinner and dancing. You can even change the mood from one area to the next with the lighting: one room might feature white and ivory paper lanterns hanging from the ceiling while the next may be outfitted with deep red beaded lampshades on every table.

2. Develop a theme.

Finding a common chord to play through all the elements of your wedding -- from your paper products to your party -- will help you put on a production that's truly unforgettable. Try a masquerade ball! Infuse your theme from the reception venue (a fancy ballroom or an old theatre) to what to wear (have guests come in costumes, such as butterflies and angels) to the favours (give guests handmade masks) to the honeymoon (go to Venice during Carnevale).

3. Pick an unforgettable guest book idea.

Have a photo booth set up at the site so that your friends and family can take their own pictures or group shots. The results are a little like a home video without sound. Whether you pose properly, make funny faces, or try your best Rockette kick line, you'll be caught on tape showing your true colours. Compiled into a visual wedding-day guest book, these are photographs that will be treasured by brides and grooms for years to come. \

4. Cool Getaways

Give guests a lasting impression with a fabulous send-off. Have a fireworks display over a nearby lake; be the last to leave and thank each guest personally as you hand out favours; or have one final dance song with everyone on the floor!

4. Pay attention to the decor.

The vibe of every wedding is dictated by the decor. To achieve an event that reverberates with romance, adorn your space with dozens of red roses and golden ornamentation. For casual elegance, try candles set afloat in pools, flowers floating in fish bowls, and a string quartet playing love ballads.

5. Go classic.

White-on-white is never out of style. As many people as there are looking for hot, hip new colours and coordination there are those craving the ultra-traditional. Talk to your florist about mixing shades of whites for the bouquets; use all-white linens or linens that mix various shades of white -- ivory cloths with white overlays, for example; and have a white wedding cake with white rolled fondant frosting and accented with ivory sugar blossoms. Final touches: waiters dressed in tuxedos with white jackets (hello, James Bond), and, of course, a white limousine.

6. Embrace colour.

Develop a visually stunning scene using monochromatic colour, whether blue, violet, or kiwi green. Consider setting up different sizes and shapes of tables (circular, square, rectangular) and use different textures or designs for the fabrics (pin-stripe fabrics on round tables and tiny polka-dot covers on square ones). Although your colour palette will remain the same, each tabletop will render a distinct personality.

7. Set your tables apart.

Who says the tables must sport uniform arrangements? Think of your spread of tables as a garden, each row or corner with its own identity. Place some of your chosen blooms in tall opaque vases, float other flowers in short bowls, use others in clear vases filled with rocks and water. Accent the shorter centrepieces with tall taper candles and the taller ones with shorter votives or tea lights.

8. Make it intimate.

If you've chosen a huge reception space to accommodate your massive family, make it more intimate by adding lounge furniture. If you can't bring in couches and plush chairs to create a sitting area, try seating only four people to a table instead of eight to ten, or drape the walls and ceilings with rich velvety fabrics to close in the space.

9. Go for good lighting.

Lighting is a key (and usually forgotten) element. Okay, so there's always candlelight or chandeliers or strung twinkle lights. But before you take an easy way out, ask if your venue has another form of lighting and use it! Find out if your venue can provide cool effects like gobo lighting to create shapes with light. Yes, it could border on cheesy if you overuse it, but initialling the white walls with your new monogram during your first dance can add an unexpected element to the occasion.

11. Drink it up.

Espresso bars are hot and a good accessory to dessert -- especially if you serve your espresso with cordials. These bars also provide a good jolt toward end of the night as the party winds down and the yawns start pouring in; plus, lattes and cappuccinos served on dainty china can be very sexy drinks.

12. Have a dessert buffet.

Bring in 20 different sweets like chocolate-covered strawberries, banana fosters, and crème brulee. Talk to your caterer for clever ways to decorate tables and present mini desserts. Your family can join in the fun -- ask your best friend's mother to make her famous brownies or your aunt to make those pecan delights. A dessert buffet encourages mingling and ensures getting people off their seats and closer to the dance floor. If you still can't pass on the multi-tiered confection, box the individual cake slices and distribute as favours.

13. Go pro.

Book professional entertainers. An a cappella group or singing waiters during cocktail hour will turn on the charm. Hire a group of dancers -- choose from belly dancers to Irish jig or salsa dancers -- who'll perform during courses. Bring in some different music for an hour or so, perhaps a steel drum band, a barbershop quartet, or a mariachi band.

14. Add a cigar roller to your reception.

A master cigar roller who demonstrates the art of cigar rolling will prove to be a big hit. You might ask him to display and hand out an array of rare or limited-edition cigars for guests to enjoy after dinner -- do this in conjunction with a lounging area or around a martini or vodka bar for an added chic factor. Or, have him entertain guests during the cocktail hour while you two are busy taking pictures.

15. Invest in a watercolour artist.

There are wedding watercolour artists who will draw in pastels, or paint in watercolours, the reception as it unfolds. This can be a great gift for the bride and groom, but it's also some quiet entertainment for guests and especially good for weddings set in great scenery -- creating a collage of events like guests dancing outdoors on the sand and the best man's toast by the water at a beachside bash.

5. Toasts 101: leave them speechless

You've just declared your love and devotion to each other in front of a crowd of your nearest and dearest -- now it's time to show them some love, too. The bride's and groom's toasts are the ultimate PR opportunity, a perfect pulpit from which to let your guests know how much you honour and cherish (as well as thank!) them for sharing your wedding day with you. So what are you going to say, and how are you going to say it?

Get an Opening ActLetting your honour attendants open up the floor is not a bad plan -- it gives you a minute to compose yourselves, and you won't have to deal with waiting for everyone to get settled. Traditionally, the best man serves as the toastmaster, and if the maid of honour chooses to toast, she comes next. After that, the two of you are on. Today many parents choose to toast after the bride and groom, especially if they're hosting the party. Technically, anyone can join in the fun. Fun? Yes -- besides being a lovely gesture of giving something back to those who've supported you through countless joys and heartaches (and that was before you became engaged), the bride's and groom's toasts can also be a cool moment for you to take it all in, so long as you're calm and collected.

Putting Pen to PaperAll eyes will be on you as the bride and groom, but you'll still need to try to engage your audience. Using part of a song, poem, or even a bit of the history of toasting as your intro will get the marbles out of your mouth and loosen up your tongue while your guests are still quieting down is a great idea. If they miss anything, no big deal -- they weren't your words anyway. Anthologies like Bartlett's Familiar Quotations are great resources to get started, or turn to slightly less conventional sources like popular songs ("as the Beatles say, 'All you need is love'") familiar rhymes ("'Twas the night before the wedding"), or tried-and-true tales (how you met or the proposal story).

The Do-Not-Say List

Don't get carried away -- while you should speak slowly and clearly, you shouldn't do so for more than two or three minutes. Less is fine, but more will be excessive (even if it is your day, no one's expecting a command performance!). In the same vein, keep it simple. It's nice to tell a quick, illustrative anecdote, but launching into anything too lengthy makes you hard to follow. The story you choose should be general enough for every listener to understand -- okay, maybe your four-year-old flower girl won't get it, yet if everyone else is going to relate they need to get what you're saying. Leave out any inside jokes or slang (unless it's in such wide use that everyone will get it): you're thanking all your guests, so you need to include everyone. Whatever you do, nothing raunchy! Let the myth of the drunken best man toast lie -- don't embarrass anyone (at least not in a mean-spirited way) and nix the four-letter words.

Another potential pratfall? Drinking. It's a bad idea to get drunk at your own wedding in the first place, but it's a horrible idea to be drunk while giving your speech. It's a toast, not a roast -- you're thanking people sincerely. Though public speaking might make you jittery, telling the people you love that you love them should come naturally.

Get Your Speech On

So where do you find all this stuff? While your toast should feel spontaneous and genuine, you aren't going to suddenly start plucking those Shakespeare and Churchill quotes out of thin air. It's going to take some rehearsal to appear unrehearsed. You'll be in front of the friendliest audience possible, and they'll want to listen to you. Anything that seems overly performed or words you don't normally use will sound stiff -- and might cause you to stumble. On top of that, when the microphone gets passed to you, you can't (or at least shouldn't) whip out a stack of 3x5s -- you'll need to remember what you're going to say. Once you've sorted out your speech, recite it aloud -- a lot. The first few times you do it, find the spots where you stumble or skip words and either delete or rewrite them. As soon as the kinks are worked out, practice, practice, practice! (If you're worried that last-minute butterflies will leave you with nothing to say, jot down a few key words or phrases on a small piece of paper to stash in your purse or pocket.)

On at least one count, toast-givers are in luck: holding a glass solves the what-to-do-with-your-hands problem right off the bat. Worried you'll fidget (a big toasting no-no)? Unless you're behind a podium, there's no reason you can't walk around a bit -- just don't be a Donahue. A little back and forth goes a long way. For assured success plant confederates - sure, all eyes are on you, but placing your bridesmaids or groomsmen around the room to give you a thumbs-up that the people in the nosebleed seats can hear you, and to start the applause, will seal the deal.

I'd Like to Thank...

When you make your stand, take the time to do a quick microphone check too: most microphones are made to sound best at a distance about equal to that between your extended index and pinkie fingers. Keep your general outline in mind: anecdote-thanks-meaningful quote, and stick to it. This is no time for sloppy improvisation. This is also particularly the case with your thank-yous.

Rather than getting into future arguments about who was and was not thanked (or sounding like you're tearfully clutching an Oscar), keep the thank-yous broad: Mom, Dad, family, brand-new family, friends. And end on a high note. Make sure you've memorized the last thing you'll say, so that you can raise your voice and end with a punch. No one will know to raise their glasses if you just trail off. Do, however, take the time to look around the room and make eye contact with the key players. Letting the impact of your words sink in and having everyone share it creates a great moment.